Have you ever noticed the more you try to stop doing something, the more you want to do it? Maybe it’s the trait of a contrarian like myself or maybe it’s just human nature. I remember my mom used to tell us not to climb on the roof while she went to the grocery store. What did we do the minute she left? We hopped on the roof and because we could see her coming down the street from our birds-eye view, we would get off the roof before she could see us. Sorry mom…this is probably the first time you have heard of this. True Internet confessions!
The point is this seemingly uncontrollable urge to do what we are not supposed to do emerges when we try to stop doing it (see my post on breaking addictions). I recently experienced this when I noticed that bitterness was ruling my world. I was complaining about everything, judging others for having what I want and just spewing bitterness. I hated that I felt this way, but couldn’t stop it. I have always believed in positive self-talk and was afraid of getting caught in the “negative self-talk trap”. I still believe positive self-talk is one of the many secrets to achieving your goals. However, our “always be positive” attitude we are taught in the success world sometimes masks deep-rooted issues that need to be uprooted. It’s like pulling off the top of the weeds…if you don’t get the root, they always grow back stronger. I believe this was happening to me with the bitterness I had towards situations in my life past and present. So I thought, what the heck, I would just let it all go and see what happened.
Now I didn’t go do anything crazy, destructive or harmful to myself or others. I just decided to let the bitterness overwhelm me instead of trying to fight it. It was almost paralyzing and I had no way to get rid of it then to turn to God. So I asked God to remove my bitterness because there was nothing I could do myself to remove it. I really believed I had tried everything, but the more I tried the worse it got! After all, He tells us to cast our burdens on Him and I was seriously in “burdenville”. Within 24 hours, the bitterness was gone. OMG! Literally. It’s almost as if it was completely dissolved all of the way to the root. Since then, the things that used to make me bitter don’t bother me anymore. That is a true miracle! It’s almost as if I had to let it all go for the bitterness to actually “go”! Even though it felt like passing a kidney stone, it was worth it! Now if bitter thoughts try to bother me, I just remind them they “can’t touch this” because God has removed the root of bitterness in my heart! And it works…almost effortlessly! That’s what I am talking about!
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