With all of the recent news about Ray Rice, I am reminded how important it is to do the right thing…even when the right thing means we temporarily lose out. In this whole discovery of the Ray Rice incident, you can see how messy it gets when people make decisions that compromise their integrity. At the time, their self-preservation decisions seemed like the path of least resistance, but ultimately when the truth comes out, you have to work so much harder to manage the consequences of your self-preservation decisions. I am not saying you should be a martyr and only make decisions that benefit others. I am just saying that you should make decisions with an integrity filter even if it means you lose out temporarily.
I will give you some examples. Often times in broken homes and marriages, the adults are bitter towards their ex-spouses or they are afraid they will lose their children’s love so they make decisions from their bitterness and fear instead of what is best for the kids. Not only do they cause harm to the kids but they also cause harm to the other parent of their kids, which creates added stress and upset in the home negatively impacting the kids. Or maybe your boss asks you to create a fraudulent legal document that seems harmless. What if that legal document became critical evidence in a fraud case and it has your name on it? This is the one that gets under my skin the most and is the hardest to detect: manipulation. Manipulation is ALWAYS the wrong thing. It means you are trying to get someone to do something for your benefit aka self-preservation. If you need help with this one and we all do, check out my post on resolving manipulation.
I will be the first to admit that I don’t have this “do the right thing” mastered yet. However, I am getting much better at it thanks to my husband who is the best example of “do the right thing” I have ever seen. Oh the moments we have missed out on because he “did the right thing”. But they were exactly that…just moments. Those moments are fleeting, but the impact your character and integrity make on others will always produce greater results, opportunities and resources. If you face a difficult decision, just put yourself in Ray Rice’s shoes and ask yourself is it really worth it?
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