For some people it seems like an achievable dream.  But for many, it seems like it’s more fantasy than real life.  Can you live happily ever after for the rest of your life with the person you marry?

For those of us that have been married for some time, we know we have to be purposeful to make our marriage work, or better yet, to make our marriage great!  We tend to focus on what our spouses don’t have or don’t do:

My spouse doesn’t have patience, my spouse doesn’t bring me flowers, my spouse doesn’t give me the attention I need, my spouse doesn’t want sex as much as I do, my spouse (fill in the blank).

If you focus on this, no doubt you’ll be thinking about how being with someone else may be better.  And guess what?  The grass won’t be any greener on the other side.  You’ll be in the same boat with another person before too long, with a whole new set of imperfections.

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One thing is for sure – even when I feel I don’t like my husband very much, I chose to always love him.  Ha, I’m sure there are times when he doesn’t like me very much also, but we’re not here to talk about that, right?

So the next time he forgets to bring me flowers or is not as attentive as I’d like, I’ll ask myself a few questions:

Who’s the one that bails me out when I’m stuck on an icy cul-de-sac and can’t get down the road?

Who’s the one who often rubs my back at night until I get sleepy?

Who’s the one that takes on the stress of all the finances, investments and payments so that I don’t have to deal with it?

Who’s the one that no matter how uncomfortable for him, dances with me at a wedding?

Who’s the one that goes with me on a bike ride or a hike because it’s MY favorite thing to do?

I can go on, but you get the point.

Just like creating physical health, it’s up to you to create a healthy marriage.

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Here are some of my tips for a Happily Ever After  life:

Appreciate the person by your words and by your actions

Have Fun together – plan for it.

Talk – not just about what has to be done around the house or work etc. but have intimate conversations at times.

Romance and Sex – While romance doesn’t have to always lead to sex (and guys, those are two different things) they’re both important.  This is what separates you two from being just roommates.

Don’t sweat the small stuff – get over it – you know what I mean – he doesn’t pick up after himself – she wants me to go shopping with her and miss the game, he leaves the lights on etc.

Do what he likes – Do what she likes – OK I don’t torture my husband and make him watch chick flicks with me, that’s what you have girlfriends for, however, get into each other’s world when you can.

Dream together – I love to talk to my husbands about future plans for our life together.

Don’t expect your spouse to meet your every need.  There’s a place in my heart that only God can fill, there’s a place in my heart that only my mother can fill, there’s a place in my heart that only my children can fill…get it?

Hope this give you some encouragement towards living Happily Ever After with your present or future mate.  Make it what you want it to be.  Focus on the good stuff and let the not so perfect parts be what they are, two imperfect people, living in an imperfect world.  If you want perfect you’ll have to wait till you get to heaven.

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