Are you a control freak? It’s a question none of us control freaks (or in my case recovering control freak) really want to honestly answer because we don’t want to give up control. Controlling our lives, every situation and every person around us is how we find peace. However, it’s an artificial peace requiring an exorbitant amount of energy and manipulation to maintain. So in actuality, being a control freak doesn’t produce peace, it produces stress. At some point, the control freak charades catch-up with us producing diminishing returns like damaging meaningful relationships, isolation, loneliness and a general sense of discontent. It can also cause physical and mental issues.
If being a control freak is net negative, why do we do it? Because we don’t trust people.
At some point in our life journey, our trust was violated enough to create a “trust myself only” mindset. For a season in our life, it was probably a productive mindset to protect us from potential harm. However, many have yet to sunset this season of their life. Now the very thing established to protect you is reaping havoc in your life.
What kind of control freak are you?
- The Do It Yourself: The never let anyone help you because they won’t do it your way and then you will have to fix what they did.
- The Know It All: The I know everything and can do everything better than everybody else so I am just going to tell them how to do it…even if it’s their area of expertise and not mine.
- The Bully: The you better do it my way or I am going to get in your face and tell you off until you start doing things my way, because no one tells me what to do!
- The “Friendly Advisor”: The everyone comes to me for advice because I always have an opinion or answer for them. I even give advice to people when they don’t ask for it because “I know best.” The more people who come to me for advice, the more people I can control.
You might even be multiple types of a control freak, but what’s important is that you’re able to step outside of yourself and recognize you have control freak behaviors you want to change. As with any life resolution, step one is admission of the behavior you wish to change. Don’t worry, if you’re not ready to change than don’t. Just file these thoughts away in your mind for when you’re ready.
Purging Your Control Freakiness
If you’re in search of more peace, joy and emotional stability then you are a prime candidate for a control freak purge. After all, we have to possess a motivation to change otherwise why bother changing, right? The best way to erode your control freak tendencies is to reverse the root cause: mistrust. The thought of trusting others might send you in to a tail spin, but stick with me here. You actually should restore your trust in God first. He’s the one who gave you your life so He’s the one you should trust your life with. When He created you, He created with you a meaningful purpose that He planted deep in your heart so He could fulfill it through you. He is the only one who can bring your heart’s desires to pass. I know you think you can because control freaks can do anything, remember? However, when He created you, He created all of the resources, ideas, relationships, opportunities, knowledge, wisdom and discernment you will ever need to accomplish your dreams. However, some of these may be road blocked by your control freakiness. In other words, your efforts to help God with your destiny are actually keeping you from your destiny.
Not only will God insure you reach his amazing plan for your life, He will also fend off anything that would compromise your life plan. He will protect you from harm; one of the root reasons you developed control freakiness in the first place. The more you trust God, the more He can protect you. As you learn to trust God, he will open and close doors for you and He will show you who to trust and who to keep at a distance.
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